Unknown
by Me Llamo Berry
Summary: Ash's true personality is unknown to anybody and he cannot seem to shed the costume covering it. It's an engrained habit. What will he do?
1. Prologue

**A****/****n****This****is****definitely****an****AU****. ****I****have****only****recently****started****watching****pokemon****episodes****and****I****just****finished****watching****season**** 1 ****but****I****have****the****basic****idea****of****what****happened****in****the****other****seasons****down****thanks****to****fanfiction****... ****I****think****. ****Lol****. ****But****yeah****, ****it****'****s****an****AU****. ****And****yeah****, ****it****'****s****really****depressing****. ****I****'****m****in****that****type****of****mood****. ****And****I****'****m****coming****very****close****to****writing****very****very****depressing****stuff****in****a****creative****writing****assignment****... ****I****don****'****t****think****that****will****go****over****well****. ****lol**

I left the confines of my room at the pokemon center. I needed more space to think than what it gave me. As I snuck past the rooms where my friends were staying, I heard them arguing. About me.

"I can't believe he lost another League. He should've won this one!" I winced. It was Misty, my first ever friend from my original journey. "After all, it's his third time competing in the Indigo League. His pokemon are much stronger than that! He should've just used his head instead of relying on luck!"

"I don't know..." Brock, my second friend. "I think he did as well as he could've with the competition." Ever the diplomat and apparently the better friend.

"He's also been in all the other regions' Leagues and lost! He doesn't even train his pokemon that much! How does he expect to win anything if he doesn't train them properly!"

I winced again as Brock spoke, obviously weighing his words. "Do we really give him a chance to train them the way he wants?"

"Well, no, but if we weren't on his case, he wouldn't train them at all!"

"You sure about that? Maybe we should give him some space."

"Yeah right, and let him get himself into dangerous situations. He's 17 years old! He shouldn't be charging off like he does! It's like he has no sense of self-control."

"Give him some space and we'll see what happens. You never know."

I heard Misty snort and decided that I had heard enough. I had heard many similar arguments in the last few months, though they always focused on something different it seemed. I did not need to hear more of what was likely to be either the same or similar to what I already knew.

I shook my head and slipped past their door. I was glad I had left Pikachu behind. Even though he was my best friend, he did not need to see me break down...again. I seem to be doing it fairly often lately. Whether because of my "friends" or something else, I don't know.

I kept my head down and my hands in my pockets as I weaved through the crowd of people in the Pokemon Center Lobby. They were talking about the recently finished top 8 battles, which I had lost a few hours previous, and speculating about who would win.

I cringed, my shoulders inching together as my pace slowed from a walking pace to a slow trudge. My hands went deeper into my pockets as they felt each object in my pockets. My shoulders relaxed and my pace picked up when I felt the object I wanted. I kept my head down, barely acknowledging other people beyond a tiny nod.

In my peripheral vision, I saw my escape. With a sigh of relief, I stepped onto the mat and watched the automatic doors open. I walked outside as if sneaking around and up to no good, trying to make it impossible for others to see me.

The pokemon center faded behind me as I stepped lightly over to the forest to lean on a tree and think. I slipped down the tree, the bark scraping my jacket, until I was sitting on the cool, dry ground.

A rush of air burst out my mouth. My knees came up to my chin as I wrapped my arms around them and rested my forehead in the depression where the two knees came together. I clutched my hands together tightly as I began to tremble and cool liquid leaked out of my eyes.

I don't know how long I sat there, silently sobbing, before I slowly stopped shaking and the tears refused to fall anymore. At that point, I sat up, relaxing my stiff legs by stretching them in front of me. I wiped my damp face, as I hate any remnants of tears. I leaned on the tree for a bit, taking deep, calming breaths.

Once I was sure no more tears were coming, I pulled out a small piece of glass from my pocket. As I passed it through my hands, I thought about what led me to this point. Basically, refusal of Brock and/or Misty to leave my side and then acting like I always do out of habit once in Unova.

If only I had avoided Misty in the first place. If only my act hadn't become habit and hard to shed. If only...

I squeezed my hand shut around the glass piece, ignoring the pain. Why did HE have to be my father? If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have to act stupid. I could just be myself.

With a sigh, I released my grip on the glass, ignoring the blood as it trickled towards the ground in drips. I rolled up my sleeves, trying to hold back the tears that were suddenly present once again. I adjusted my hold on the glass and poised it above my arm.

I think for a moment, casting my mind back in time as I considered my life since Unova. Nothing has changed. Not really. Suddenly, I strike down and pull the glass across my exposed skin. I close my eyes and savor the pain.

It is as if a weight is lifted off of my shoulders. I don't feel as if I'm being pulled down anymore. I smile and make a few more cuts vigorously.

I sat there and watched them bleed for a while. There is something satisfying about watching the blood ooze out and drip, drip off of my arms. Finally, though, it clotted and stopped flowing. With a sigh, I wiped the glass off in the grass before pocketing it.

I pulled on my jacket, wincing slightly as the fabric met with my fresh scabs. I ignored the throbbing as I stuck my hands in my pockets and casually returned to the pokemon center. I made sure to duck around Brock and Misty's room.

I opened the door to my room and checked it before stepping in and locking the door. I breathed a sigh of relief and walked over to the bathroom to clean up and treat my cuts. I don't like to treat them; I'd rather they scar, but after the bad infection I got that one time...

As I finished applying the antibiotic cream, I looked up into the mirror. I stopped and stared at the boy in the mirror. This boy looked worn down, defeated almost.

I squeezed my fist. I wish to be that carefree 10 year old again. I watched as my face changed and in that moment, I made my decision.

"Pikapi?" I turned around.

"Oh, Pikachu, you're awake!" I exclaimed as my best friend ran up my body and settled on my shoulder. I chuckled as he chattered in my ear.

"Wanna help me?" I asked.

"Pika, pika, pikachu, pi."

"Is that a yes along with a 'what's going on?"

He nodded. "I'll explain while we pack."

Our stuff was packed in short time. I slipped out my door, double-checked that it was tidied up, and then I left.

I checked out and wandered off into the forest. I am not going back until the next Indigo League competition. I will show them. I can train my pokemon. I know I can.

They will all be stronger than what anyone can expect. And I will be the best pokemon trainer. There was just one thing.

I pulled out my piece of glass, stared at it, and flung it out into the vast forest. I walked in a different direction and never looked back.


	2. Chapter 1

**A****/****n ****I ****guess ****it ****wasn****'****t ****meant ****to ****be ****a ****one ****shot****. ****But ****there ****is ****a ****time ****skip****.**

I walked up to the counter. I glanced around at all the people in the lobby of the hotel. They were obviously waiting for a room, but hadn't thought to reserve it.

"I have a reservation," I stated clearly to the obviously harassed secretary.

She sighed, flipping through papers and checking the computer at the same time. "Name?"

"Red."

"Oh, here it is. Room 1349, top floor. Comes with access to roof, where you can practice with your pokemon in private," she recited as she passed the key to me along with a paper to sign.

I rolled my eyes as I scanned it. Just a statement saying I won't hold the hotel responsible for any injuries to myself or my pokemon whenever I train on the roof. I signed it with my real name and a flourish, handing it back.

It's the same, unreadable signature as on the bank account the money for this was transferred from. Even after designing and building a house, I still had a lot of money. Leftover money from participating in the Indigo League three times, winning the Orange League, and participating in the Hoenn, Sinnoh, and Unova Leagues. Of course, the money varied depending on my placing and how popular the league is. I never used any of it, just dumped it into an account and left it there where it collected interest.

Anyways, I used the remaining money to rent the most expensive room in the hotel... last year. Okay, maybe I hadn't built my house yet, but there was no way I would train in front of people once I came to the league. It made a surprisingly small dent in my money.

Once everything was taken care of, I picked up my suitcases and drifted through the crowd. No one would recognize me, I knew. I was wearing a hoodie to cover my hair and shade my face. I had gone out in public as "Red" but I didn't want to draw attention to myself now.

Of course, not wanting to have attention meant that it took me an hour to get to the elevator. I got on and pressed 11, even though my room is on the 13th floor. Everyone knows that the 13th is the most expensive and I did not want to deal with someone staring at me if they happened to come on the elevator. The odds of me meeting anyone on any of the floors above 10 were very slim.

I leaned into the corner and crossed my arms, intentionally giving a rebel don't-mess-with-me look. I can't help but smirk as I watch people glance at me and then away, only to look at me again a few moments later. They were very obviously trying not to stare. And failing epically at it.

Finally, though, the last person stepped off at floor 9, and I was left on my own. I relaxed my stance and reached over to press the button for floor 13 just as the elevator reached 11. I froze as the door opened, but there was no one there. What a relief.

I stepped into the hallway cheerfully and headed towards my room. 1349. I found it at the end of the hallway. I held the key out and the door beeped. I opened the door. I grinned widely as I shut the door behind me and pulled off my hoodie.

The room... perfect. I tossed my bags on the floor. I was about to unpack when I remembered something important. I gulped and then pulled out a pokeball. I flicked my wrist and sent it spinning.

"Pika, pikapi, pikachu, pikapichu," my best friend scolded.

"Sorry buddy, got a bit held up in the crowds of people who waited too long to make a reservation or didn't even make one at all."

"Pi. Pikapi." And the electric mouse jumped up into my arms. He observed the rooms from my shoulder.

"So, ready to unpack so we can train?" I asked him with a grin.

"Pika!"

As I put away my soap and similar bathroom things in the cupboard in the bathroom, I glanced up. I smiled briefly at the difference in my face from just a year. There is a sparkle in my eyes, a confident smile, and a general mischievous look about me. My hair is grown to just below my ears with streaks of red. I smirk, since the red highlights are the origin of my nickname, Red.

The highlights were the most important part of my plan to get away from everyone. It made it easier to stay hidden; I had, on a few occasions, wondered why people dyed their hair and declared that I would never do such a thing. Smart move on my part, because I happen to like my hair when it's dyed.

With everything put away, I picked up my belt of pokeballs. I counted to make sure I had all of them. I still thank Arceus that I had thought to ask Professor Oak if I could keep all of my pokemon. He had said yes, but only if I remembered that I could use no more than 6 in a battle. Well, duh.

I walked out of the bathroom and over to the balcony. I leaned over the edge of the balcony, feeling the air rush by my face.

"Windy and cloudy," I commented to Pikachu. "Perfect day for training. Two days of intense training and then a few of relaxed should do it. I don't want to overwork them or me right before our first battle in the League."

"Pika, chu, pi," he agreed.

I turned around and spotted the ladder. I can't help but laugh. It's obviously a shortcut for those who pay to use the roof so we don't have to leave our rooms. I strode over to my "front" door and locked it after slipping a do not disturb sign onto the doorknob in the hallway.

Then I ran back across the room and climb the ladder as quickly as possible. Pikachu kept his balance as I pulled myself up onto the roof. I glanced over my shoulder to see a long drop. I stepped forward a few feet and examine my section.

There are four rooms that have roof access. So there's four huge domes with a control panel allowing different settings. Plus, there's a fifth dome in the center for others who have dome access but they have to share with the others. I'm lucky.

I sent out all my pokemon at once. "Alright, let's get cracking!" I stated in what I term my "leader" voice.

**A/n This is just setting up the rest of the story, it will get better.**


End file.
